You’re Not Failing: You’re Just Measuring Athletic Success Wrong

In the world of sports, the athletic landscape often feels starkly binary: you either win or you lose. For athletes, this win-lose dichotomy can dominate how success and setbacks are perceived. When you win, everything feels on track—your training is paying off, and you’re at the top of your game. But when you lose, it’s easy to feel like your entire athletic journey is unraveling. This black-and-white mindset can be limiting, especially for young athletes striving to develop new skills, compete at higher levels, or overcome performance plateaus. The truth is, athletic success isn’t just about the scoreboard—it’s about the journey, the discipline, and the growth that happens along the way.

The Binary Trap of Sports Performance

The competitive nature of athletics often reinforces a results-driven mindset. From youth sports to professional leagues, athletes are conditioned to equate success with victory and failure with defeat. This binary perspective can create unrealistic expectations, particularly for young athletes navigating the complexities of skill acquisition or stepping up to more challenging competitions. The pressure to win at all costs—and on an ambitious timeline—can lead to frustration, burnout, or a sense of failure when immediate results don’t materialize.

Consider this: “At one stage, Michael Phelps didn’t know how to swim.” Even the most decorated Olympian in history started from scratch, facing countless setbacks and incremental improvements before achieving greatness. This quote is a powerful reminder that athletic success is not an overnight phenomenon. It’s a process that requires time, patience, and a willingness to embrace the journey over the destination.

Redefining Success: Growth Over Glory

What if we reframed how we measure success in sports? Instead of focusing solely on wins and losses, what if athletes celebrated the small, consistent steps that lead to long-term growth? This perspective shift is especially crucial for young athletes and those transitioning to higher levels of competition. Acquiring new skills—whether it’s mastering a new technique, building mental resilience, or improving physical conditioning—takes time and discipline.

The “unsexy” truth is that athletic development is a marathon, not a sprint. Expecting to master a new skill or dominate a higher competitive level within a week is a recipe for disappointment. However, by setting realistic timelines—think months or even years—and committing to a disciplined plan, athletes can unlock remarkable progress. This approach transforms perceived “failures” into valuable learning opportunities and milestones on the path to success.

Practical Steps for Long-Term Athletic Growth

To break free from the binary win-lose mindset, athletes can adopt a growth-oriented approach to their training and performance. Here are some actionable strategies:

 Break free from the binary win-lose mindset.

Set Process-Oriented Goals: Instead of focusing solely on outcomes (e.g., “I want to win the championship”), prioritize process goals that emphasize skill development and consistency. For example, “I’ll practice my free throws for 30 minutes daily” or “I’ll work on my mental visualization techniques three times a week.” These goals keep you grounded in the present and build a foundation for future success.

Embrace the Learning Curve: Every new skill or competitive level comes with a learning curve. Accept that mistakes and setbacks are part of the process. Reflect on what each experience teaches you and how it contributes to your overall athletic development.

Create a Realistic Timeline: Give yourself permission to grow at your own pace. Whether you’re learning a new sport, recovering from an injury, or aiming for a personal best, set timelines that allow for steady progress. Patience is a powerful tool in sports performance.

Track Your Progress: Celebrate small victories along the way. Keep a training journal to document improvements, no matter how minor they seem. Over time, these incremental gains add up to significant achievements.

Stay Disciplined: Consistency is the backbone of athletic success. Develop a training plan that aligns with your goals and stick to it, even when motivation wanes. Discipline turns potential into performance.

The Power of the Athletic Journey

One of the most overlooked aspects of sports is the journey itself. The daily grind of training, the mental toughness required to push through setbacks, and the resilience built through adversity—these are the true markers of athletic success. When athletes focus only on the destination (e.g., a trophy or a personal record), they risk missing the signs of progress that are all around them.

By shifting your perspective to value the journey, you’ll start to notice “success” in unexpected places: the confidence gained from a tough practice, the camaraderie built with teammates, or the mental clarity achieved through mindfulness techniques. These moments, though less glamorous than a podium finish, are the building blocks of a fulfilling and sustainable athletic career.

A Call to Action for Athletes and Coaches

To athletes: You are not failing—you’re simply measuring success through the wrong lens. Embrace a growth mindset that values discipline, patience, and incremental progress. Create a plan, stay consistent, and give yourself the time to develop. The results will come, but more importantly, you’ll become a stronger, more resilient athlete along the way.

To coaches: Help your athletes redefine success by emphasizing effort, improvement, and long-term development over immediate outcomes. Foster an environment where setbacks are seen as opportunities to learn and grow. By modeling a growth-oriented mindset, you can empower your athletes to thrive both on and off the field.

True Growth Takes Time

The athletic journey is not about instant wins or crushing defeats—it’s about the steady, disciplined pursuit of growth. By letting go of the binary win-lose mindset and embracing a more nuanced view of success, athletes can unlock their full potential. Remember Michael Phelps’ humble beginnings and the countless hours he invested to become a legend. Your journey, too, is filled with potential. Stay patient, stay disciplined, and keep your eyes on the long game. Success isn’t just at the finish line—it’s in every step you take

Sebastian De Chaves, founder of Mind Athletic, is a professional rugby player with over 14 years of experience in elite clubs like Leicester Tigers, London Irish, and Newcastle Falcons. As a Sports Psychologist in Training (SEPiT), he offers sports psychology coaching, helping athletes and teams conquer performance anxiety, build mental toughness, and unlock peak performance through personalized 1:1 sessions, team workshops, and online programs.